AQUARIUS (Jan 20-Feb 18)
PISCES (Feb 19-Mar 20)
ARIES (Mar 21-Apr 19)
TAURUS (Apr 20-May 20)
GEMINI (May 21-Jun 20)
CANCER (Jun 21-Jul 22)
LEO (Jul 23-Aug 22)
VIRGO (Aug 23-Sept 22)
LIBRA (Sep 23-Oct 22)
SCORPIO (Oct 23-Nov 21)
SAGITTARIUS (Nov 22-Dec 21)
CAPRICORN (Dec 22-Jan 19)
You have an inventive mind and are inclined to
be progressive. You lie a great deal. you make the same mistakes
repeatedly because you are stupid. Everyone thinks you are a fucking
jerk.
You have a vivid imagination and often think
you are being followed by the FBI or the CIA. You have minor influence
on your friends, and people resent you for flaunting your power.
You lack confidence and are a general dipshit.
You are the pioneer type and think most people
are dickheads. You are quick tempered, impatient, and scornful of
advice. You are a prick.
You are practical and persistent. You have
a dogged determination and work like hell. Most people think you
are stubborn and bullheaded. You are nothing but a goddamn communist.
You are a quick and intelligent thinker.
People like you because you are bisexual. You are inclined to expect
too much for too little. This means you are a cheap bastard.
Geminis are notorious for thriving on incest.
You are sympathetic and understanding to other
people's problems which makes you a sucker. You are always putting
things off. This is why you will always be on welfare and won't be
worth a shit. Everybody in prison is a Cancer.
You consider yourself a born leader. Others
think you're an idiot. Most Leos are bullies. You are vain
and cannot tolerate honest criticism. Your arrogance is disgusting.
Leo people are thieving mother fuckers and spend most of their time kissing
mirrors.
You are the logical type and hate disorder.
This shit-picking is sickening to your friends. You are cold and
unemotional and often fall asleep while fucking. Virgos make good
bus drivers and pimps.
You are the artistic type and have a difficult
time with reality. If you are a male you are probably queer.
Chances for employment and monetary gain are nil. Most Libra women
are whores. All Libra's die of venereal disease."
The worst of the lot. You are
shrew in business and cannot be trusted. You shall achieve the pinnacle
of success because of your total lack of ethics. You are a perfect
son of a bitch. Most Scorpios are murdered.
You are optimistic and enthusiastic. You
have are reckless tendency to rely on luck since you have no talent.
The majority of Sagittarian's are drunks. Nixon was a Sagittarius.;
You are not worth the time of day.
You are conservative and afraid of taking risks.
You are basically chicken shit. There has never been a Capricorn
of any importance. You should kill yourself.
